


Hurt

by n7chelle



Series: A Herd of Black Sheep [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7chelle/pseuds/n7chelle
Summary: Fi encounters Cole at Herald's Rest. Follows right after Unexpected Guests.





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Third post from r/dragonage. The prompt was "An extended hand, a sweet smile, the warmth of the sun but the cold of the snow, a whisper and a promise."
> 
> I think this is the one I like the most so far.

"An extended hand, a sweet smile. The warmth of the sun but the cold of the snow. A whisper: 'I'll be back soon,' he promises... But he never returns." The man muttering to himself in a corner tilts his head toward the stairs, towards Fi just cresting the landing. His expression is shaded from view by the wide brim flopping over his brow, but his bottom lip is pinched by the press of white, uneven teeth, and the line of his shoulders, his crossed arms, is tense beneath a patchwork tunic. 

"You're Cole, aren't you?" Fi guesses. There's no one else this strange individual could be, from her sister's descriptions of her various companions. 

"Yes, that's my name. It's mine, but there are other Coles that aren't me." The tension hasn't left his shoulders, but he tips his chin up enough that Fi can see his face, and the pale, wispy strands falling into his eyes. He looks like a boy caught on the cusp of manhood, but his eyes...there's something old and knowing that makes Fi wary. Deep shadows bruise the skin beneath them, as if he's never had a good night's sleep in his life.  

Fi looks away, glancing around the rest of the little attic floor instead. There's no one else up here. Blackened torches stand unlit, the only light coming from a hanging brazier. Just a few old crates and sacks, an open barrel with rusted hoops, and a door, almost lost in the gloom, leading who knows where. She's curious, but not enough to wander too far. She probably shouldn't have gone this far even, but she wanted to explore, and Athena hadn't wanted her around the tavern proper for some reason anyways. It wasn't like she'd never seen Baz get into a fight before, though Fi had to admit, that big qunari man--Bull?--might actually give him some trouble. She can still hear sounds from the ground floor if she strains, easily picking out the familiar tone and cadence of her brothers and sister, the general din of other patrons moving around on the floor between, the bard plucking at her lute and singing over it all. 

"Soft strings plucking, strumming, flutes whistling, drums dancing. Warm food and family and friends--it will always be like this, you think." Cole's voice shudders out of his corner, distant and confused, as if the words hurt somehow hurt to say. "But then you go south, it's supposed to be warmer in the south, but it's not, it's cold. You want to go home, but now you have brothers and sisters and they're your family now."

Fi stumbles away from the stairs, startled, catching herself on the railing to avoid a fall down to the next landing. 

_"What did you say?"_  

But Cole doesn't respond, not to her, just keeps mumbling rapidfire in that soft, pained voice, the words tumbling out like stones. 

"Julian--the man with eyes like yours, you loved him for making you special--but they  _all_  have your eyes. No, they all have  _his_  eyes. You don't want to hate them for sharing the thing you loved the most." 

"Please--stop," Fi whispers, pleading. 

"Your hurt--I'm sorry, it's  _so loud_ ," Cole says. "You could let it go, but you don't  _want_  to--you keep it close, a reminder--why would you want to keep it?" 

"I--I don't know what you're--" 

" _Cole_!" Arms fold around Fi suddenly, pulling her close, blinding her, shielding her. Athena's heartbeat thumps in her ears, steady, strong, soothing. 

"Inquisitor--I'm sorry--I didn't mean to--" 

"I know, Cole, I know. It's alright." Her voice is gentle, without a trace of anger or reprimand. "I know you just wanted to help, but this hurt is...it's too new." 

"I don't understand. How long do I wait before helping?" 

Athena's ribcage expands broadly against Fi's arms, and then all the breath comes out of her sister in a rush, ruffling the hair at the top of her head.  

"I don't have an answer for you Cole. When someone's ready, they'll tell you." 

Silence stretches between them. Fi feels caught in the middle, literally and figuratively, hearing them talk around her as if she isn't there. Her eyes burn, stinging at the open wounds Cole's words rubbed against like sandpaper. 

"Like Roderick," Cole finally says, quietly. "He took my arm. He wanted to help, and the helping made him feel better before the end. He called me..." 

"A fine young man," Athena finishes, sounding like a recitation. "You understand more than you think, Cole. Give  _yourself_  time." 

Heavy footsteps scuff on the stairs, more people coming up from below. Fi burrows deeper into Athena's arms, wishing she could turn invisible. She doesn't want to be coddled, treated like a child, but she can't pull away from the comfort of her sister's embrace.  

"Alright up here?" A deep, unfamiliar voice, speaking around a smile. It sounds like the qunari from before. 

"We're good, Bull. Are you...?" Athena trails off. Her throat clears pointedly. 

"There's this unclaimed room up here on the wall, figure it's as good a place as any to, uh... _lay my axe_ , y'know." The qunari steps past them. A trail of coppery, woodsy musk wafts through the air in his wake. "If you see Dorian, send him our way, yeah?" 

"Nobody's laying anybody just yet, you big ox," laughs another deep voice. Fi worms her face to the side and peeks under Athena's arm. Baz followed after the qunari, a bemused expression furrowing his brow. "Fi," her brother said simply, patting her shoulder as he went by. A door creaked open and footsteps echoed back hollowly, moving into another chamber.  

"Lock  _all_ the doors, if you don't mind!" Athena called after them. Twin laughter was her only response before the door closed. There was a distinct  _thunk_ of something sliding into place. "Maybe find somewhere else to be for the next hour or two, Cole," Athena sighed. 

"The Iron Bull makes people hurt in  _good_  ways. I want to understand that, too. He said it doesn't bother him if I listen." 

"Okay..." The word drags out awkwardly. "Fi?" Athena keeps an arm wrapped around her, but pulls back enough to peer down at her face. "Are you...hungry? I can have something brought up to my room." 

Fi sniffs delicately, scrubbing a damp cheek against her shoulder. "I thought you were going to show me around Skyhold." Her voice comes out embarrassingly thin and watery. 

"Skyhold can wait," Athena smiles softly. "I haven't seen you in ages, how's about we catch up first and  _then_ tour the keep?"  

Fi thinks for a long moment. Really thinks. If she insisted, Athena would let this go, would take her all around the keep, introduce her to the countless people who keep the Inquisition running, would pretend to forget all about this little interlude of childish weakness until Fi brought it up herself, even if that time never came. 

But what Athena said to Cole sticks with her. What Cole said to  _her_  is still there, clinging to her frayed edges.  

She sniffs again. Once, determined. Wriggles an arm free to rub at her other cheek. "Something to eat would be nice," Fi says.  

The sisters descend together, wrapped up in each other and not noticing the way their audience follows them with his eyes. The line of his shoulders is loose and easy beneath his patchwork tunic, arms crossed comfortably. The younger one's hurt is still loud, but it began to heal once she let the Inquisitor hear it. 

In the flickering glow of the lit brazier, Cole smiles.


End file.
